Guess I've been deserting this place more than ever lately. Being engrossed in my work and personal life for the past many months, I'll drop by awhile so you know that I'm still alive.

Most of you here should already know that I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 6 years at the end of last year. Its been devastating for many months and, ... well, nothing much can be said about it, nor do I really want to say anything. Just hoping that things will eventually turn out right, as life unfolds itself like a mysterious flower bloom.

Love is a funny thing. We all know that. Especially how absence makes the heard grows fonder. Though it was all thought about carefully and agreed upon, and causing unneccessary anger or hatred was the last thing we wanted, the pain is unavoidable. Sometimes, I wish I could just run to him and tell him that I love him, lets get back together and not be apart anymore. But yet, I knew that I could not live up to those words. That the initial high and easing of pain of reconcillation would not be able to make up for all the reasons we chose to be apart.

Those words I wish I have the freedom to say, the freedom I wish to have, to just let myself fall in love over and over again without holding back...

But words are of not much use now... Not in my case.

6 years has been a long time, but the road ahead is even longer. Guess all I can do for now is just to take my time to sort my messy and confused self out, taking one step at a time.

Sometimes I believe that in somewhere out there, is a place that tanscends space and time, that remembers what we eventaully forget, that preserve what we though we've lost. That someday when our souls are free from the worldly bounds, we can return to that place and time and relive our happy memories over and over again. That someday, when we can finally see each other beyond our skins, our seperate bodies and diverse minds, and see ourselves as one, then only we can finally unite to be one, and there shall be no more pain of separation again.

Maybe its true. Maybe it just makes it easier to bear.

Till next time, take care ya all...